I just want to put tags on my car, is that so wrong?

WARNING: This post addresses issues I have encountered with motor vehicle registration in two states. Please do not attempt to operate a motor vehicle while reading this post.

I did not accomplish anything that I expected to yesterday; however, I did experience something that truly altered my perception of bureaucracy. I took a trip to the Indiana Bureau of Motor Vehicles.

I had to get a driver's license and begin the process of registering my car in Indiana. The required documents to complete these tasks are listed on the Indiana's BMV website. When I had to go through this process in DC, the requirements to show proof of residence and identity are roughly the same: a US passport, out-of-state license, Social Security card and a piece of mail with your current address on it such as a utility bill or a bank statement. The first three were a snap, but since I've only lived here for three days and don't have any utilities in my name, the proof of residence was a bit of a problem. I was able to scrounge up three official-looking envelopes that showed I had changed my address recently: one from my bank, one from my former insurance company and my change-of-address confirmation from the US Postal Service.

None of my envelopes were official-looking enough for the BMV, officially. The nice woman behind the counter told me that the USPS change-of-address wouldn't do since "you can put any old address on there," which I guess is true. However, in light of the fact that I had three pieces of mail from three different sources, each with the same new address, and a proof-of-insurance for my car with my new address, she felt that there was enough evidence to take my word for it.

I had the exact same issue come up both times I had to get a DC license. Each time required multiple trips to the DMV to sort it out. The first time I went with about seven different envelopes, each with my new address. One was from my bank and I brought in a copy of the lease for my apartment. The conversations went something like this:

DC DMV Bureaucrat: These won't work.

Me: But, they're all I have. I just moved in a few days ago and haven't gotten a utility bill yet.

DCDMVB: [shrug]

Me: So what can we do about this?

DCDMVB: [shrug] Next!

a few days later with a utility bill in my hand

DCDMVB: I can't take this bill. You've opened it and may have altered the address.

Me: How was I supposed to know not to open it?

DCDMVB: [shrug] Next!

a few days even later, now with a different, unopened utility bill in my hand

DCDMVB: I can't take a closed envelope.

Unfortunately, even though I live 600 miles away, the DC DMV still has its clutches on me. I bought my car from a dealership in Tyson's, which they financd for me through Chevy Chase. I used my DC address to obtain the financing. Since I knew that I would be moving to Indiana in a few weeks, I decided it would be best to skip the swirling eddy of suck which is the DC DMV and just jump through the hoops one time in Indiana.

I called up Chevy Chase and told them what I was planning to do. Since my loan wasn't in the system yet, they couldn't look my specific circumstances, but the CSR that spoke to me said that, in general, that sort of thing wouldn't be a problem. I called the Indiana BMV and told them my plan. Again, no problem. Then I called the dealership...

The finance guy P. told me that despite what Chevy Chase had already told me, I couldn't register the car for the first time in Indiana, I would have to register the car to my address in DC - at this point, the address I would only have for about eight more days. However, the good news was that I wouldn't have to spend my entire day at the DC DMV, I would just have to get my car inspected and they would do the rest. It seems that they have a guy, or multiple guys, who take care of running the registration paperwork to the various local DMVs for all their customers. Te car tags conveniently appear in your mailbox one day, saving their customers time and worry.

After two trips to the inspection station (of course the car failed the first time, this is the DC DMV we're talking about; and no, I didn't get anything repaired before it passed the second time) I sent the delership my paperwork so they could start the process. Yesterday, which is over a week after I passed the inspection, I still hadn't heard anything from the DC DMV or the dealership, so I called the dealership to find out what was going on.

I spoke to P. once again to find out what the status was on my registration. He told me that they had taken in my paperwork a week earlier, but they wouldn't know anything from the DMV until it was completed. I reminded him that I don't live in DC anymore and the temporary tags they provided me will run out in a few days. He replied that the DC DMV is probably just waiting until the last minute. He said that he could call and ask them to put a rush on my registration, but then suggested that doing so could actually encourage them to take even more time to get me my tags.

I called Chevy Chase to see if there was anything they could do to help me get my car registered in Indiana and skip all of the DC DMV BS. Unfortunately, they don't have the title yet. Whoever owns the car has the title; however when you finance your car, the bank holds onto the title until you pay it off. Effectively, the bank owns your car and lets you use it in exchange for so many monthly payments. When the delaership owned the car, they had the title. When I got my inspection, they sent the car to the DC DMV to get it registered. The dealership will get the title back and send it to Chevy Chase, who will then send it to the Indiana BMV so I can get the car registered here. So now, I am at the mercy of the US Postal Service (remember them? the folks who will take any old address for your change-of-address form) to whisk my tags and title around the country in a timely fashion so I don't have a car with expired temporary tags.

Fortunately, the Indiana BMV saved the day. Once I got my shiny, new Indiana Driver's License (with a shiny, new pink border across the top) I asked them for help on the whole title/registration/tags issue. They gave me a form to fill out, I gave them the form and $16.75, and they gave me a 2" x 4" slip of paper that allows me to drive without tags for the next 30 days.

Altogether yesterday, I dealt with five different people at the Indiana BMV. Of the five, the worst of them that I had deal with I would describe as being "polite." A couple of folks were downright nice, all of them were extremely helpful, competent, and pleasant to work with; unlike at the DC DMV, where I had one encounter with someone so rude that I had to speak over him to explain that he had not answered my questions because he kept interrupting me before I asked them. I will have to go back to the Indiana BMV in a couple of weeks to pick up my Indiana tags, but I am not overwhelmed with the same fear and dread I used to ecounter in Washington, DC.

I am not Avery Sample